Holiday shout out to everyone who’s missing someone. Holidays take on a different meaning after loss. And even if you’re surrounded by family, friends and love, loss and/or separation brings with it an absence, of history, of possibility, and of occasion. I’m not a big fan of celebrating thanksgiving, or Christmas for that matter. The social and political impact of the history of these holidays is very much at the forefront for me. I prefer to celebrate the seasons, as…
There’s this thing, that’s going on for me, for the past year. The death of my mother. Which has an empathy shelf life, and is a strange thing to talk about/address. I had, in many ways, a really weird relationship with her – she was manic a lot of the time, in our last years together. I didn’t always comprehend her way of coping with the world, her approach. But I’ve come to understand that it’s a part of me,…
I feel like I’m overdue for my bi-annual gratitude rant. So here it is. I spend a good portion of my time thinking “why do I do what I do?” It’s not lucrative. It’s labour intensive. It’s repetitive in some ways (though not as much as some other ways of earning a living, admittedly.) And then sometimes, I get an epiphany about how important and special it is to work towards providing space. Just that. Giving space, holding space. Whatever…
So TONIGHT is the NIGHT!! Lisa So and I will be grabbing a piece of cardboard and a sleeping bag and #SleepingOut in support of Covenant House Vancouver. Why am I doing this? There are many reasons. I have experienced first hand the hopelessness and helplessness that is trying to support a loved one with mental health and addictions issues. There are so many brick walls and obstacles. It’s so hard to know how to help. I spend a majority of my time in…
Snow is both annoying and awesome. It’s the same with all local universal changes in weather, and other things. It really intensifies the social fabric. Yesterday I was in a major hurry (me? no.) and was having trouble getting out of a parking spot and a guy jumped out of his car and offered a push. Today a car rolled through an intersection and would have smoked me, except it was kind of in slow motion so I had plenty…
I had an important thing this week, that might have been better to apply some – creative re-envisioning – of my skills, or my proficiencies. But I decided to go full honest. It’s an important enough thing that I think that’s important, and called for. I’ve been thinking we lose out on a whole bunch of gain, for fear of loss. And if you’re doing it right, people will find out exactly who you are, sooner than later. Another cheesy…
A note about firsts and lasts at this time of year. Sometimes we receive the blessing of premonition, and sometimes we don’t. Sometimes that’s an awesome thing, and sometimes, not so much. The marking of time is a funny thing – we log our “bests” and our “worsts” – years, seasons. All dependent on a mostly arbitrary noting of time. My mom had a remarkably cheesy woodcraft sign that said “these ARE the good old days” that she referred to…
Long before mom died, or grandmas, or grandpas, or any of the friends I’ve lost, I’ve always thought of grief as a sort of apex – an event most profoundly affecting people closest to the centre, with complicated concentric circles radiating out, that include a vast network of connections, all tangled up. A discovery of closeness that you didn’t know existed, and a realization about how far away life can take you. This is the closest I’ve personally been to…
Reflections on the life of Marilyne Brennan It’s hard to know how to summarize a life like mom’s. I spent the last several days gathering perspectives, listening to stories, sifting through them, feeling like each is just a chapter of a book that she wrote with each of us; each one with a multitude of chapters that we still get the chance to read, or re-read, through the telling. Mom was a thrift store jumble of wild adventures, endless curiosity, boundless…
Yesterday was a challenging day. Today, mostly less so. But it makes me think about the things that happen to you, and how you manage them – and how other people manage what is happening to you, for them. And how fucked up that can and will get in the grand scheme. I feel more than blessed to have some really solid humans in my life, that are there to hold me, to feel me and advise me, and give…